Report cards from the Canadian Grand Prix

Seventh race, seventh winner, and on the Ile de Notre Dame - in hindsight we could have even gotten there - Lewis Hamilton could only triumph, who achieved his first career success in these parts way back in 2007. Behind him a podium as unusual as it is unpredictable, formed by Grosjean's Lotus and Pérez's Sauber. Alonso and Vettel are in trouble, paying for a strategic gamble and losing ground in the very final stages of the race. The winner of the 2011 edition, Jenson Button, did not arrive. Enjoy the reading!

Sebastian Vettel: 6st – Let's start from this assumption: whoever is in the car has -MUST have- the pulse of the situation. Because he is the one who actually turns the steering wheel, pushes the pedals, has his ass on the seat. And therefore he is the one who must have the balls to say to his engineers «Enough bullshit. The tires are finished. I want new ones." Because in the end, even in the era of "I'm happy for the team, the team did an excellent job" and various nonsense of this type, it's the driver who drives. Deciding to go ahead is a gamble, okay. But a gamble that doesn't pay off. An error. Of the wall? Perhaps. But if the driver doesn't know how to impose himself, he too and above all is wrong. And for this he should be rejected. Then to err is human, to persevere diabolical. And after Hamilton strips him of paint, Seb stops, puts on fresh tyres, starts lapping like a maniac, catches up and even overtakes Alonso. Proof that he is not a stupid idiot. He deserves credit for this alone. To finish first, first you have to finish. To come first, you have to finish the race first, the English say. Which ends under the checkered flag, not before. Tire #1.

Mark Webber: 5 – He didn't understand much of it. The funny thing is that when Red Bull is in difficulty he gets excited. When the car turns on he crawls on all fours. I don't know. His teammate suffers in qualifying, grabbing fourth place at the last minute. In the race he is never effective. He slips back a bit due to the sub-optimal strategy and a bit because in traffic he can't find the spark to pass slower cars. He gives him the only number at the start when he roughly resists Rosberg. Then for the rest it is opaque, imprecise - see the wide one at the chicane on lap number 39 - and all in all not very consistent. He still collected points, finishing seventh, behind, but not too sad either. Of course we saw little, very little. A decisive step back compared to Monte Carlo, despite the walls here too. Evanescent.

Jenson Button: 4nd – If Webber didn't understand much, JB kept quiet. Like being at a meeting on cold nuclear fusion without even having fifth grade. Of course, Montreal is Lewis' track, but Jenson triumphed here last year at the end of an incredible race. Today perhaps he suffers from technical choices that are more suited to his partner's riding style. Stiffer machine, to be thrown into corners brutally. And he can't figure it out. He's slow, by his own admission he laps a second and a half behind the best, what's more he grinds the Pirellis worse than the others. And, on top of that, he admits that he doesn't know why he doesn't feel the car and why he can't keep up with the pace of the other top drivers. Crisis of structure, psychological, technical, we don't know. But of course it is now legitimate to talk about a Button case in Woking. No more and no less than there was talk of a Massa case at the beginning of the season at Ferrari. Whose fault it is, the team or the driver, is not up to us to say. But there is something wrong, bad. Confused.

Lewis Hamilton: 10 – It's his lead, little chatter. And in the crucial phase of the race he finds himself in the situation he prefers, the one in which - all things being equal - he is probably the strongest of all. Push hard, without thinking about anything. Pure speed. Without compromises. The ten laps it takes him to catch up with the leading pair are an exercise in style, a demonstration of strength aimed at showing that he is still there, and how. Favored by the tyres, but with the pressure of having to go at a qualifying pace without being able to afford the slightest mistake. The condition he prefers, in fact. Like a thoroughbred who, after having bitten the brake, can finally launch into a gallop. Also noteworthy is the malice with which he takes first place after Alonso's stop, with the attitude of do or die. The chronic problem of pit stops remains, we are now at the joke. But that's fine, that's fine. Also because in one fell swoop he finds victory, smile and leadership of the world championship. And if you please. Lightning.

Fernando Alonso: 5,5th – O reader, yes, I mean you. To you who are screaming curses at the report card after seeing Fernando's vote. Yes, I'm talking to you. Very free to disagree, of course. But first at least read what the undersigned wrote about Sebastian Vettel. And if you, the reader, blinded by anger do not want to go back to the top of the page, a kind of copy/paste follows. “Whoever is in the car has - MUST have - the pulse of the situation. Because he is the one who actually turns the steering wheel, pushes the pedals, has his ass on the seat. And therefore he is the one who must have the balls to say to his engineers «Enough bullshit. The tires are finished. I want new ones." Because in the end, even in the era of "I'm happy for the team, the team did an excellent job" and various nonsense of this type, it's the driver who drives. Deciding to go ahead is a gamble, okay. But a gamble that doesn't pay off. An error. Of the wall? Perhaps. But if the driver doesn't know how to impose himself, he and above all are also making mistakes". End. Also and above all in light of what the Prince of Asturias declared at the end of the match, the insufficiency is mandatory. And since - here too I report - to err is human, but to persevere is diabolical, the fact that he didn't stop even later, and therefore that Vettel also lost his position, means that he and the team are insufficiency. Equally distributed. Ok, he/she wanted to win. He/she was wrong. Tire #2.

Felipe Massa: 5 – We like it that way. We prefer to fight, attack, make mistakes and roll up our sleeves rather than appear colorless. In Canada he would like to break the world, and it shows. It can be seen from the spirited and skidding corner exits, from the malice with which he gets rid of Rosberg at the start of the race, from the provisional fastest lap he sets on lap number 65. And also, why not, from the spin at the first corner which sends him out of the fifth to twelfth position in the early stages of the race. Which is serious, very serious, it destroys his tyres, ruins his strategy and severely penalizes the result, but which denotes a desire to do, to attack, to try. It's a good start, or rather a confirmation after the good form shown in Monaco. He doesn't deserve credit for the mistake, but - I hope you understand what we mean - the attitude is correct. Better bungling than apathetic. Donald Duck.

Michael Schumacher: sv – What else can you say? No, seriously, if anything comes to mind, let us know, because we've run out of words. Logically it would be a failure, because throughout the weekend he suffers from his teammate who is not irresistible, but what happens to him in the race is incredible. The mechanics who hammer his DRS, who sit on it, who try to bend it down in four... it's a picturesque image, from another era, but one that the old Michael would have gladly done without. At the end of the race, Crucco produces a dialectical masterpiece that more or less acts «Let's go to Krante Fortuna. Zio breaks my car. Another car scores points. This dress is good for the team." No, objectively, how can you fail it, even if perhaps it deserves it? Hero.

Nico Rosberg: 6,5th – His race was a bizarre one, in flames. At the beginning he is in great difficulty, after nine laps they even tell him to save petrol, as if Ross Brawn had to pay for it out of his own pocket. Then from a certain point on he starts going like lightning, he gets rid of Räikkönen, attacks Massa, cuts the chicane, Perez tricks him but he takes revenge on Massa a few corners later. And in the end it goes like a train and closes in Alonso's exhaust: with two more corners perhaps he would have even passed him. He didn't particularly impress us, especially due to the inconstancy he showed during the race. He is certainly a daughter of these tires which have a range of use as thin as horsehair. But with such tight performance, this also makes a difference, doesn't it? Then of course, you see what happened to Michael Schumacher and you think it could have been much, much worse for him. So you're half past and home. Indeed, in Valencia. Swinging.

Kimi Räikkönen: 5th – Here's another one who didn't understand who knows how much about this weekend. And to say that at least the report card writer expected him on the ball, in Montreal. But no. Problems with the differential during free practice, balance problems in qualifying and traffic problems in the race affected his performance. But above all it is the speed that is insufficient for those who would like to aim to win the race. The only leap of pride comes when he manages to pass Button in the midst of a tire crisis. But then he comes into focus only when in sequence he is overtaken by Rosberg and Perez, who comes out of the pits right in front of him. He perhaps lacks clarity, brilliance, perhaps even determination. Let's hope he isn't bored already, that wouldn't be nice of him. Towards the team and the fans. In the end he still collected a few points but finished eighth, well behind his young teammate. Opaque.

Romain Grosjean: 9th – This championship is seriously crazy. Crazy because one day you're a Leo, the next day you're an Asshole, the next day you're a Leo again, and so on. Take Romain. At the start of the championship he was unable to emerge unscathed from the first laps, not even to die. Then in Bahrain he invents a brilliant and unexpected third place. In Monaco he does a crazy dick after 300 meters from the green light. And here, on the Island of Notre Dame, he even comes second. Doing something like 49 laps on the soft tyres. With the same strategy that made Alonso and Vettel sink. Anyone who understands something about it is good. Indeed, it is welcome. Technically his race wouldn't be extraordinary at all, until about fifteen laps from the end. Then many stop in front of him. Those who don't paint [but how young is Alonso's slang???] are starting to slow down. He neither one nor the other: he continues and goes like a train. In the end, together with Hamilton, he is the fastest on the track. He reaches Alonso and cleanly strips him. And thanks to Hamilton's final laps of the catwalk, he arrives just two and a half seconds behind the winner. 49 laps on the soft tires, we repeat. He's crazy stuff, in fact. I struggle to understand, but hats off. Because a race like this, alas, no matter how incomprehensible it is, is a lot of stuff. Mysterious.

Paul di Resta: 6 – The downside of riders who move up positions in the final stages of the race has the sad and slightly lanky face of the Force India pair. Paul, specifically, is the one who has the most to complain about, because he starts further forward, gets off to a good start when the traffic lights go out, even manages to pass Rosberg in the first laps and then, despite slowing down, maintains a good position until the first pit stop. From there the pain begins. With the soft tires the pace drops, the degradation increases, and the gap increases. He thus has to anticipate the second stop and this, at the end of the fair, will cost him precious time and above all positions at the finish line. In fact, he will finish immediately on the edge of the points, eleventh, with something to complain about. However, it's worth a passing grade because ultimately he makes a better impression than his teammate, he doesn't make mistakes and is more of a victim of degradation and circumstances. Innocent [until proven guilty].

Nico Hulkenberg: 5 – In the end, with great honesty, he admits «Ultimately, what we lacked today was speed». It's nice of him not to blame the deterioration of the tires, with Mars in Saturn [against, however], with the Ascendant Descendant or with the sore callus which signals a change in weather and which at the same time prevents him from pushing the gas pedal to maximum. It also happens to superheroes: the incredible Hülkenberg this time proves to be more human than ever, suffering the pace and speed of di Resta throughout the weekend. Paradoxically, the moment he is closest to is right under the checkered flag, when the two arrive separated by just eight seconds. But he doesn't mask an overall insufficient weekend, starting with qualifying. In the race he is practically never framed. There must be a reason, what do you think? That's how it went, never mind. Ectoplasmic.

Kamui Kobayashi: 6 – Starts eleventh, finishes ninth. That's good. He would have to stop twice, the wall changes his strategy seeing that with just one stop he would have gained time. This is also good. He makes no mistakes, he stages a nice duel with Michael Schumacher from which he emerges victorious, and in the end he collects some very good points for the classification. And this is good too. All good, in short, except that his neighbor actually ended up on the podium after a sensational race. Which obscures how much good little Kamui has done. His race is not negative, let's be clear, and in fact we don't deny him his sufficiency. Also because he was penalized in a couple of phases by traffic and slower and more difficult to overtake cars. But he would have been right to expect more, from the point of view of determination, risk, and the desire to climb back up. More so than the accountant competition proposed by Jap of the Toyota school, which has accustomed us to very different warlike approaches. But in this evaluation - we repeat - we are necessarily conditioned by Pérez's sensational race. Which downplays Kamui's rating and performance. Beaten.

Sergio Perez: 9,5 – It's a bit like the circus, where each artist has his own act, the one that makes him famous and for which everyone comes to admire him. Sergio's - shown, if you remember, also on his F1 debut in last year's Australian Grand Prix - is the Stint acrobatic stretch. Which leads to the single pit stop. A number that the Mexican does well very frequently. And there must be a reason. He starts fifteenth, he has nothing to lose, he lets the race come to him and in the second part of the race he unleashes himself. When the others slow down he takes off - even without Red Bull - and passes Rosberg, Massa and Alonso at practically double speed. Clawing for third place, five seconds behind the leader, more than applause. The talent is there, there's no denying it. Even if it still needs to be refined, the boundary between phenomenon and bungler is still very blurry. But when things go as they should Sergio keeps us entertained. With the above number. After all, between circus and Circus, also given the crazy and crazy trend of this world championship, the difference is very little. Acrobatic.

Daniel Ricciardo: 6rd – «It's not like if you put wings on a boat it becomes an airplane» [cit.]. Thus the priceless Corrado Guzzanti imitated Antonio DI Pietro a few years ago, mimicking his exasperated use of peasant metaphors. And it's not like if you put wings on a Toro Rosso it becomes a Red Bull, we add. In Montreal, especially. Daniel tries to do his homework, he even qualifies well, but then he ruins everything with a start that is somewhere between clumsy and unlucky, in which he slips into the wrong hole and causes him to lose positions. He runs together - ah, Poltronieri, how we miss you... - with his teammate for a good chunk of the race and in the end he finishes fourteenth, which is the position in which he qualified. Despite a blunder a few laps from the end. It would almost be enough, actually. And in fact, stretched, we give it to him. Because at least he doesn't do any damage, he arrives at full speed and in the last laps with fresher tires he goes like a train. This year, with such decisive tires and such close performances from team to team, the contribution of the drivers is, in our opinion, much more decisive than in the past. This is why it is difficult to photograph the performance of a team, to understand whether the Toro Rosso debacle in Canada is the result of a car that does not fit well with the Canadian asphalt or a pair of drivers who are unable to bring out the best in it . Keep in mind that these are young people with high hopes but still young people nonetheless. When in doubt, at least with the Australian, you have respect and pedal. Waiting for better times. Saved.

Jean-Éric Vergne: 5,5 – The considerations made for Ricciardo apply more or less, which we will therefore not repeat so as not to bore you. Just two notes: the poor qualifying, in which he placed twentieth, which was however made up for by an intelligent start which allowed him to recover what he lost on Saturday. And then the drive through remedied for speeding in the pits. We haven't seen them for a long time, as far as we can tell, but we could be wrong, the time is late and Alzheimer's plays tricks on us. Qualifying and the mistake in the pits cause him to lose his passing, albeit by a margin. He finishes fifteenth, lapped, but at least he brings the car back to the pits without even a scratch. Declaring, at the end of the race, cheerfully but not too much, «It's not a simple circuit at all, with those walls very close to the track, and you always have to push hard lap after lap». Welcome to F1, beautiful. The man will not live by Tilke alone, but also by that bit of tradition that damned Uncle Bernie will generously intend to leave us, who knows for how much longer. Scared.

Pastor Maldonado: 6 – And to think that this one had won in Spain. Today we find him happy and satisfied, at the end of the race, with a thirteenth place. One minute behind the leader. We repeat it once again, this championship is truly crazy. How crazy this weekend is too, for Pastor. In qualifying he tried until the end to claw his way into Q3, touching the champions' wall right under the checkered flag. At that point he also replaced the gearbox and found himself starting twenty-second. In the space of an amen, however, he is already seventeenth, well ahead of his teammate. Of course, we can't even talk about points, but at least our pride is safe. He chooses a one-stop strategy which forces him to drive on eggshells for the entire first part of the race, but in the end he also manages to do some good laps and finishes in thirteenth position, ahead of the Toro Rossos, 50 seconds or more behind the teammate. He perhaps deserves a passing grade, stretched out. Even if - as in Monaco - the WIlliams is worth more than these placings. But the now chronic problem is qualification, and that's what they will have to work on at Grove. The pace is there in the race, but starting beyond fifteenth position the going is tough. Rocky.

Bruno Senna: 4,5 – The gap he accuses of Maldonado is inexplicable. He says he paid the price, in the first stint, for the poor feeling he had and the car with the supersoft tyres. Maybe, but after ten laps his teammate - who started well behind - also passed him and on lap number 31 the gap between the two, if we're not mistaken, is over twenty seconds. He crosses the finish line in seventeenth place, three positions and almost fifty seconds after his teammate. To which he also gives four tenths in the calculation of the fastest laps in the race. Let's put it this way: he wasn't able to find the right feeling with the track, with the car, with the walls of Montreal. Indeed, perhaps with the walls yes: proof of this is the romantic touch that he gives to the Wall of Champions a few rounds from the end. Painless, but suggestive, almost like a film. In his case, one, two or three stops would hardly have changed the fate of the race. So we imagine him very happy to pack his bags and leave Quebec as soon as possible. A question of Feeling, someone before us sang. Seduced and abandoned.

Heikki Kovalainen: 7 - «Come, siori and siori, come to the great Circus. Entertainment, emotions, acrobats, acrobats and clowns. After the sensational number of Checo el Loco, the acrobatic stretch of the Stint, come and watch the performance of Heikki the blond, also known as the Angry Bird. The most Latin Blondino of Rovaniemi will stage his main number, which made him famous throughout the world: the Cannon Departure ». Oh yes, Heikki too, like Pérez, has a number that he manages with disturbing regularity. And even in Montreal - it's not clear how, given the small space between the grid and the first corner - the Finn comes out on the first lap in fifteenth position. Holding it, however, for several laps. Then from there boredom, or almost, in what he himself defines as a race "poor in events". First of the drivers of the new teams, a solitary race to all intents and purposes, correct in the lappings, clean at the wheel, in the end eighteenth at the finish line, four seconds ahead of the Comrade - it really needs to be said - of the team. Boring, if you like, but then again we ourselves wouldn't know what else to expect from him. Rocket.

Vitaly Petrov: 7 – He doesn't get the rocket start number, after all it's Kovalainen who has the copyright, no fuss. But at the end of the race, which ended just four seconds behind the team leader, Comrade Petrov displayed an optimism that was as genuine as it was contagious. Satisfied with the race, the handling, the tire degradation and eager to get back on track to try the new updates for the next races. Calm down, boy, one might say to him. But if we look closely he has good reasons to be satisfied with his match. Precise, honest, clean. After the first stint he caught up with Kovalainen without too many worries and staged a platonic battle with him until the checkered flag, made up of relatively fast laps and correctness and altruism in lapping. Which is, as with Heikki, the most you can ask for from a Caterham driver today. For adrenaline, review, please. However, in this writer's opinion, we are rebuilding a sporting virginity in this year at Caterham, a bit like Shinji Nakano did in his year at Minardi, do you remember that? Who knows, maybe it's really good for him. Humble.

Pedro de la Rosa: 7,5 – Call us crazy, say what you want, but Pedro is almost inspiring us in these latest releases. In Montreal he put together an exceptional performance, comfortably keeping the two Marussias behind - we won't even talk about his teammate - until the brake temperatures rose to such a level as to force him to retire, highlighted by a mephitic black smoke in the pits coming from right from the carbon discs. It's a shame, really a shame, because he gives it his all and we're starting to see some results. Logically, given the small number of laps covered, it would be unjustifiable, but we don't care and give it a vote anyway. Or rather a Voton. Because we are in charge. And - above all - because he deserves it. He is 41 years old anyway, he is not a kid. Yet he still tries, too. Moving.

Narain Karthikeyan: sv – His race - alone in last position - lasts just about twenty laps, when he runs out of brakes, spins and is subsequently forced to retire. Previously he had not caused any disasters, on the contrary, he was sailing happily - as usual - in last position after a start that to define as prudent would be an understatement. But in this case we are generous, we don't make exceptions to the rule, and we avoid raging with a bad vote. This is what the convent goes through, alas. There's Crysis. Slow.

Timo Glock: 5,5 – As Niki Lauda would sarcastically say «He opens the book of excuses to page 9» and lists in great detail everything that didn't work. He takes it out - in order - with the deterioration of the tyres, especially the rear ones, with the engine temperatures being too high, which would limit its efficiency, with too many blue flags which would prevent him from taking advantage of the newly fitted tyres, and finally with the brake pedal getting longer and longer until he was forced to retire. We are certain of the last aspect. On the others perhaps too. What is certain is that throughout the race he takes them from Pic, who as good as he is is still a rookie. The withdrawal saves him the shame of finishing behind the young transalpine. But not that of insufficiency. Marussia in Canada is taking a clear step back compared to their latest appearances, of course, but there is a way to take advantage of this situation. Fatigued.

Charles Pic: 7 – We also liked it in Canada. On a track on which he had obtained pole in GP2 but where he had never raced in Formula 1, he immediately found a good feeling and, despite being beaten by Glock in qualifying, he was able to respond with interest in the race. He installed himself well in front of Glock and remained there until the end, constant, precise, correct in the dubbing - many of them - and in the various complicated situations. Of course, giving seven to a driver who finishes three laps behind the leader seems like heresy, and perhaps it is. But if you explain to us what a rookie should do - on one of the two worst cars in the race - more than beating his teammate and crossing the finish line without errors, well then we are willing to edit the report card and give the vote suggested by those will give us the most convincing explanation. Other than the Five Star movement, this is direct democracy. Hurry up, the Political Competition is eager to read your complaints. Crazy [us], but let's be serious. Courage!!!.

Manuel Codignoni
www.f1grandprix.it