The 10 Pillars of the 2011 Abu Dhabi GP

Penultimate annual appointment with the Pills.

We move from India, where people outside the racetrack don't have the money to survive, to Abu Dhabi, where the poorest buy a €100.000 SUV like a walker for a newborn baby. The globalization..

Happy as a child, Lewis Hamilton returns to victory, giving the success to his mother under the podium, and a sincere 'favour' to Nicole. Too bad (for us too).

Cover photo dedicated to a photographer of Turn 1 of the circuit. You will understand why Vettel and Alonso on Friday..

1 – Sebastian Vettel
After races of owls, here is the first retirement of the Bi-Champion-Paraculato. First corner and off we go, off stage. Embedded in the punctured wheel, upon returning to the pits he will find a diamond that will have made him go away from his anger. Not all evils have a silver lining, they say. Ah, if you hadn't understood it on the commentary, “Vettel retired due to his mistake”. We are curious to know what helmet he will wear for Interlagos. Bets are open.

2 – Lewis Hamilton
After 5 contacts 5 with Felipe Massa and wrestling duels with half a grid, Lewis specialized in a new tactic of eliminating opponents. Namely the KO Wireless. Only our commentators understood what really happened to Vettel, in fact. It's all Hamilton's fault who, with the imposition of his thoughts, created a 'hole' (new term..) in the German's right rear. Everything is perfect. You don't risk sanctions, you don't get your hands dirty, others don't think it's your fault. I loved Lewis.

3 – Fernando Alonso
In order to obtain the same results as Vettel, he plans to copy his every move, including the exit at turn one in free practice. Fortunately he avoids repeating that on lap one of the race.
“It's in front, it's in front!”. After the last pit stop he too connects to the radio with the commentary booth, and he too believes he has performed the miracle until he realizes that he still has Luigino in front. For privacy reasons, we cannot reveal the contents of the next Nando's radio team. You can imagine for yourself...

4 – The two DRS zones
The strategy (already seen) of setting up two DRS zones one after the other is enlightening. In such a way that whoever is overtaken in the first one immediately comes back to the front in the second. One would want to award the Nobel to whoever invented this instrument of sport's death.

5 – Felipe Massa
In short, it is useless to continually complain about Hamilton when, without him, the results are exactly the same anyway. Once the wing, another the suspensions, another the pit stops, then the grandmother who made the chocolate. This, if he goes to Lourdes, finds it closed for holidays. It's truly heartbreaking to see a Ferrari reduced like this.

6 – Mark Webber
Well, if the value of Red Bull without Vettel is this (many third places but no World Cup ambitions), we need to redefine what the real strength of this team is. Better car? Of course, but today was another demonstration of how the driver also counts. Then you can talk about it for years, but with the World Championships won you wouldn't understand the need to give a slower car to the number two.

7 – Jenson Button
To ensure victory, Luigino Hamilton didn't just think about eliminating Vettel via Wireless. In the cockpit he brought a smartphone. Throughout the race he played with turning poor Jenson's Kers on and off, who therefore remained behind, at a safe distance. Even if it's late now. Barring any other pranks, the handsome man finishes second in the World Championship.

8 – Michael Schumacher
The Kaiser really doesn't like this Abu Dhabi (and not just him, for goodness sake). He shows off a non-performance worthy of his twin brother intended by the betrayed Montezemolo, he remains behind the blonde for the entire race and sees the gap in the standings increase (slightly). At the end of the race he was seen wandering around the Mclaren pits asking Luigino for guidance on Wireless technology.

9 – Renault
From the podiums at the start of the season, to the bottom of the rankings. From possible 'outsider' to 'out' and that's it. Incredible how the French team has consistently collapsed since the beginning of the year. That the latest evolution of forward exhausts makes them blow in the wrong direction?!

10 - Daniel Ricciardo
Driving an HRT is already more than an honor, it's a burden. If you then do this for the whole race, allowing yourself to be dodged by those who have lapped you for 40 laps and, having savored the pleasure of finishing the race, your cart leaves you stranded, well, let's imagine that its turbines have turned and quite a bit. Come on, the torment is now over.

Out of competition – Bernd Maylander
Criticism of the presence of ours in the Pills continues. But he, even if you can't see him, is always there. And he is always alert and ready to take action where there is the possibility of collecting precious points for his World Championship. He has gained little lately: he confidently awaits Interlagos and one of the usual storms of 15 cm of rain in half an hour to return to the top. Meanwhile, multiple offers from the stables for him. Where will he race in 2012?

Special Mentions

5.500 kilometres
During the qualifications our engineer Bruno, usually precise in his comments, indulges in a risky modification of the circuit, which would take it to the length of a lap and a half of Italy. Right now, Hamilton is halfway through the first lap.

“Lewis Button”
Since confusing pilots is now common practice, here is the solution to any problem. Take one's first name and the other's last name. One shot at the rim, one at the barrel, and you're certainly not wrong! At Interlagos we will also have Fernando Massa, Sebastian Webber, Nico Schumacher, Bruno Petrov and co.

“Vettel retired due to his mistake”
After repeating the sentence in question for the thirtieth time, someone will have thought they were having problems with the sound of the television. Beyond the fact that the remains of Vettel's tire are still being studied by Pirelli to understand the reasons for the problem (definitely indicative of an error by the German...), this sensation of an enchanted disc is sometimes boring. Ok, the race was a bit sleepy, but...

“Button is a curbstone!”
As soon as he saw the blonde arriving behind Hamilton, Flavio immediately took back what he said a few days ago, justifying his having admitted the error of judgment on Jenson with a blow to the head and falling from the Latvian.

Appointment in Interlagos for the last pills of the year... maybe.

Alessandro Secchi
F1Grandprix.it