The 10 Pills of the 2011 European GP

Let's go back to the usual 'standard' version of the Pills for the European GP, ​​round 8 of the World Championship, won by a certain Sebastian Vettel aboard a certain Red Bull.

If 20 Pills would not have been enough for the Canadian GP, ​​for this reason 10 are too many, given the lack of episodes and the real risk of falling asleep in front of the TV in defiance of DRS, Kers, mapping, electric motors and so on.

Cover photo dedicated to the only noteworthy attraction of these three days.

Premise: before anyone can say 'well, last year the races were all like this and you complained, now you complain to the DRS anyway', we point out that this is the demonstration of how artifices are not sufficient to create movement, if the basic elements are ignoble (in this case, in addition to the cars, the track).

Let's go.

1 – The EUROPEAN GP
What better track could have been selected for the European GP? Obviously one of the most incredibly scandalous that has ever been included in the F1 calendar. Tilke/Calatrava – DRS: 1-0 and ball in the center. If there is a port in Valencia, why show F1 cars there? In whose hands...Damn Eurofigure.

2 – Bernd Maylander
The only good note of the day is the interview before the start with the true undisputed KING of this $port. The only one who can create havoc, level the playing field, win the World Cup again. A ray of sunshine on a rainy Sunday (figurative). The German anthem on the podium is for him, other than Fettel (as they call him on commentary)

3 – Sebastian Vettel
At this lap they took away the maps, at Silverstone he will no longer have the blower exhausts released. Our advice to the almost 24-year-old Seb is to finish second between now and the end of the year alternating with a few fake retirements, before they make him run on three wheels or start a lap late. In any case, the FIA ​​sensationally lost the first match point, given today's result.

4 – Fernando Alonso
On the podium the Nando radiates joy from every pore. We haven't seen him this happy since Brazil 2007 (...), as if he hadn't won a World Cup. It must be acknowledged, however, that with the bigger sister of the F60 it makes a great impression in front of the home crowd. The only reason to stay awake is offered by him, who between a quick lap and a blowout to Jarno breaks the monotony of an hour and a half which to define as soporific is a compliment.

5 – Mark Webber
The epic of the kangaroo Mark continues, struggling with the technical problems of Red Bull. After a good fight with Nando, this time it's the gearbox that forces him to slow down and settle for third place overall. We recommend a cheerful picnic in Lourdes to Mark, Felipe, number 2 and number 6.

6 – Felipe Massa's phenomenal (pit) stops
It's okay that Felipino isn't as good as Nando (even if he still has something to teach him at the start), but every pit becomes a worry. Since the beginning of the year, all sorts of things have happened to him: wheels that don't fit, guns that don't work, mechanics that disappear. He looks like Singapore tube syndrome.

7 – 'Slow down, you're going too fast'
The funeral of F1 takes place when Hamilton's track engineer tells the Englishman not to go too fast under penalty of total destruction of the tyres. We confirm our hunch: these are becoming endurance races rather than Formula 1. Imagine a similar message uttered via radio to a Senna or a Mansell..

8 – The Mercedes
We wonder who made Uncle Michele do it to him to return to F1, when the first of the two silver jugs (Nico's) reaches the finish line ONE MINUTE AND THIRTY-EIGHT SECONDS late, on a normal track more than a lap . From the joy of Montreal to the hell of Valencia, passing through the usual strategies worthy of the Magicians Gabriel and Otelma and a flying Petrov who, by hook or by crook, always manages to break something. Today, unknowingly, he shatters the wing (and not only) of his uncle.

9 – DRS, KERS, etc
Last year the only inspiration for this race was the controversy over Hamilton's overtaking of Maylander (Bernd tied it to his finger, don't you think), this year did anyone have fun despite DRS and KERS? Proven proof that even the tracks do their dirty work in making certain races truly rubbish.

10 – '24 cars at the finish line!'
The terrible owl starts about 2/3 of the way through the race when, on commentary, it is remembered that all the cars are still on the track and moving. For the remaining third, an apocalypse is hypothesized in succession, the opening of the Calatrava bridge, the arrival of Luna Rossa and Mascalzone Latino on the track. Strangely, nothing happens. Even owls go on holiday.

SPECIAL MENTIONS

One hour, 39 minutes, 36 seconds, 169 thousandths
Try following the race for this time with, in succession, first the girlfriend and then the dog who start to snore from how spectacular the row of cars on the track is. Only the infinite passion for this $port meant that these Pills could be written. Because today, more than 10 pills, there seemed to be 5 suppositories around.

'Montepricelo'
Niki Lauda is a little advanced in years, but he never misses an opportunity to distort the name of the Ferrari President. And here he is not arteriosclerosis, it is precisely the desire to use his identity card to cheerfully mock an ex-boss (more or less). It doesn't sound bad, though.

The Calatrava Bridge
Now even in Alaska they know who designed the bridge that connects the port of Valencia. Also given the organisation's economic problems, we hope that this GP will no longer be held so as not to have to endure once again, in addition to an unworthy spectacle, three days dedicated to this essential information for the event.

City circuits
As a TRUE street circuit, in F1, there is only Monte Carlo. Two close guardrails, a few yachts and kilos and kilos of Pilu (as the good Cetto La Quale says) are not enough to recreate or copy an event that is unique in terms of content and history. And then they complain that there is a lack of funds to continue with this GP. Who knows why...

When a race changes a season
Before Canada Schumacher was an incomprehensibly limping old man still in F1, among his almost children. Today, strangely, someone noted that he deserves something more than a three-blade lawnmower. The truth, they say, lies in the middle: but how quickly the wind changes, gentlemen!

See you at Silverstone, in two weeks. Finally a lead.

Alessandro Secchi
F1Grandprix.it