The 10 Pillars of the 2010 Brazilian GP

Here we are at the second appointment with the "Pills".

The Brazilian GP offers new pearls in addition to the Constructors' World Championship (the one that counts when the drivers' championship is missing) for Red Bull. The image on the cover is ironic about the drivers' situation in the Austrian manufacturer.

1 – Sebastian Vettel aka Baby Crucco:
He wins, wins overwhelmingly and out of joy, in addition to the winner's trophy, he also takes away that of the team, that of Webber, that of Alonso and the one that Emerson Fittipaldi has been holding for about two hours. Like the Real Crucco before He started, he defends himself at the first corner and then they never see him again. It was spotted along the old 70s route.

2 – Mark Webber:
To celebrate the Constructors' World Championship they put a hat with the horns of the Bull on his head. He's a good-natured guy and doesn't understand that all this has a precise meaning: he's the chosen cuckold, so there's nothing to laugh about Mark...Be careful that in addition to the horns in 6 days you won't have to deal with anything else, del Toro!

3 – Fernando Alonso:
“When Nando goes, what strange things he does, he can think of everyone”…To paraphrase the theme song from Cartoon Johnny, he finishes third on the podium aboard his Ferrari-powered “Pressione”. This time too, with the power of thought alone (just like Johnny), he freezes the brakes of Hamilton and Hulkenberg. Priceless.

4 – Lewis Hamilton:
Soft tyres: “I have no grip..”. Hard tires: “I have no grip..” . Has his record become enchanted? The brakes one for sure. In the wet in practice he risks a big hit and then has to succumb to Nando's macumba, as already happened in Korea. Advice for Abu Dhabi...start behind the Ferrari n°8!

5 – Jenson Button:
Opt for the life strategy. He puts on hard tires when leaving the circuit on Saturday evening, with the help of four Brazilian fans who, to get paid, try to rob him. Bern Mailander is driving the Mercedes and so the handsome man runs away as soon as the pitstop is over and recovers a lot of positions in the race.

6 – Michael Schumacher:
Well, he is a 7-time champion, what will he be if in Mercedes, to make sure he finishes behind Rosberg, they force him on Saturdays to get out of the car and take it off the stands to qualify, and on Sundays they leave him with used tires while Nico gets changed 75 times??

7 – Spaghetti Gangster aka Vitantonio Liuzzi:
Instead of spaghetti this time he makes an omelette, trying to blend in with the tires of the S named after Senna and reducing Force India to Force Singapore. It must be said that, until he was out, the match was quite soporific, so we can thank him for having awakened some sleepy fans.

8 – Vitaly Petrov:
After Suzuka, Yeongam and Interlagos, he was contacted by EuroNcap to become the first human to take part in the European crash tests instead of the dummies, who, damn, will be fed up. Meanwhile, Prime Minister Putin tests a Renault at home. Watch out, Vitaly!

(NB: for duty and honesty of the record, the reference to EuroNcap is a tribute to a French fan, who wished the Russian an enlightening future career just like Crash-Tester)

9 – Felipe Massa:
Rosberg comes by to steal everyone's tyres, and so when Felipe arrives for his pit they put on a tire from an F430. It's a shame that the circle is 19 and compared to the other three (13) it dances just a little. Race ruined and so Felipao tries to enchant the public by doing a bit of bumper cars.. Paperinized..

10 – The Incredible Hulk..enberg:
Who knows how they fared on Saturday, those who wanted to bet on Barrichello for the wet qualifying and made the wrong click with the mouse, thinking they had wasted money. Heroic in practice, in the race he defends himself with weapons, teeth and nails thrown behind him, but Williams is what he is.

Out of Competition – Bern Mailander:
We have reached sabotage. In order to complete a few laps in a race without problems, he activates the "tickling" function under the armpits of our Vitantonio, who leaves the steering wheel and gives ours a few laps at Interlagos too. What will he invent for Abu Dhabi?

SPECIAL MENTIONS

1 – Emerson Fittipaldi's sideburns:
40 years after his successes they give him a cup, Emerson thinks it is for him but instead it is for his sideburns, which resist weather and dyes and will soon be protected by the government as a national monument and awarded with any honour. We're joking, obviously, great Emerson!

2 – The “Pressure”:
The new determining factor in Formula 1 is called “Alonso Pressure”. It is mentioned dozens of times on television (so much so that it surpasses the various "Taci" and "Capra" by Vittorio Sgarbi) and this time too it bears fruit. As invisible as it is decisive, imposing, elusive. Next year the Spagnolo's Ferrari will race with double numbering. One number for him, one for her.

See you again in 7 days for the digestive pills of this 2010 World Cup.

Alessandro Secchi