GP Australia: the Melbourne Scoreboards

First race of the world championship, first episode of a new column: the reports, semi-serious comments on the Melbourne race.

Ferrari, rating 6: mediocre reliability.
Ok, the FIA ​​control unit works and doesn't work, for how many laps it's not clear (damn regulations), but it remains a mediocre performance, without flashes and without a pace that could give rise to hope. At least we can console ourselves with having brought both cars to the finish line, a little bit, right? Race pace is urgently needed, otherwise LucaLuca risks getting really pissed off this year.

“Felipe” Raikkonen: blocking festival, rating 5.5
Just so we don't regret the good Felipe gives us an amorphous race, from mid-table, which will only be remembered for the constant blocks. Has Pirelli hired him to test the flattening resistance of the new tires? Whoever wanted to see Nando beaten will have to wait, how long? We will see..

Felipe Massa: vote 10 (bad luck)
He says his slave days are over, but his bad luck days don't seem to be over. With a car that seems to be really on the ball, his race lasts just long enough to be hit by Koba, first accused of being a kamikaze, then justified by a failure of the by-wire brakes (great for safety, right?)

Sound of the cars: MULINEX blenders, rating 4.5
Honestly, after the tests I expected something better, but the start, with the traffic lights going out, without the scream of the V8s, was heartbreaking, or rather ears. Not that it went any better in the race: the sound is as exciting as the vacuum cleaner being passed by the wives/mothers/companions right in the middle of the grand prix. At least now that the F1 cars are silent, we can console ourselves by hearing the skids when restarting from the pits. But I can also make those with my grandmother's Pandino.

Daniel Ricciardo: rating 8+1 for the Webber style fall.
For me it comes second, stop. The regulation may take away points from him, it may disqualify him, but it cannot take away the joy of being on the podium in front of his people (something Mark has never achieved). He earns a point for the slip from the podium.

Red Bull: mysterious object, rating 6.
The rating is the average of that of Ricciardo's car (8), and that of Vettel's car (4). The first goes very well, enough to finish second, the other practically doesn't go at all. Last year, however, it was Mark's who didn't go, and so it caused a sensation. However, considering the tests, the drink makers really worked a miracle, managing to present themselves with at least one competitive car far beyond any rosy expectations.

Jenson Button: with a good dose of ass, rating 7.
In the end he brings home a dignified result, also thanks to a safety car with providential timing which, thanks to a truly last-minute entry into the pits, allows him to straighten out a weekend that had seen him dull, taking a beating from his teammate rookie, who still finishes ahead of him. He needs a shake-up, otherwise one could say that the world championship was also won by being in the right place at the right time.

Lotus: SV. From rags to riches.
You can't go from fighting for the championship to saying you're satisfied for having managed to put together a few laps. But what is it? The maximum expression of motoring or a Sicilian cart race? A shock is needed here too, but a really strong one, otherwise the season will be thrown away. And then I don't think the sponsors are very happy with the figure. Be careful, because dandruff in your hair is really annoying.

Gianluca Mauriello